I’m feeling an enormous sense of achievement. The other day I passed my test and am now the proud owner of a Chinese driving licence. Oh yes.
As I already have a licence (actually two) I didn’t have to do the actual practical test but I did have to do the theory test. You wouldn’t think that would be that difficult as driving signs and regulations are pretty much the same the world over aren’t they?
Actually the test is pretty difficult. This is in part because you have to learn answers to approximately 1000 questions (the book is almost 200 pages) but also because the questions are in Chinglish (I bet they used Google translate for it all). But actually what makes it particularly difficult is the fact that a significant proportion of the questions are completely bonkers. I’ll give you an example of an actual question:
What’s the correct answer?
After a vehicle falls into water, the wrong method for the driver to rescue himself is to:
A) Close the window to prevent water from flowing into the vehicle
B) Immediately use hand to open the door
C) Let the water to fill up the driver’s cab so that the water pressure both inside and outside is equal
D) Use a large plastic bag to cover the head and tight the neck closely.
Well, I thought that anything that involves putting a plastic bag over your head HAS to be the LAST solution to any problem, and therefore the right answer. It isn’t. The right answer is A. So it’s better to put a bag over your head than close the window. Ooooookaaaaay.
There are a series of first aid questions that are somewhat confusing. There is one where the correct answer is “cushioned limb folding”. I have no idea what that involves, only that it is the right thing to do in cases of “upper shank bleeding”, whatever that is. Then of course there are all the police hand signals – you’d think that the sign for “go left” would involve some pointing in a general leftwards direction. Well it doesn’t…
Alarmingly there are also a surprising number of questions that relate to cars losing control of brakes or steering or falling into water. Obviously those are big concerns here. That and honking at everything that moves (largely encouraged).
I think you’re probably getting the picture. The bottom line is you just have to learn the questions and answers as you have to score at least 90 out of 100 questions to pass. I’m feeling super smug as I managed 97%. Woo woo.
Now I have my licence – the good news is that it lasts six years, the better news is that it allows me to drive cars (no chance) and any sort of motorbike. Watch out Shanghai.