Do you remember the film “Groundhog Day” with that ridiculous weather- forecasting rodent in it? I just found out that Punxsutawney Phil is NOT MADE UP. The buck toothed blighter apparently saw his shadow this week which means we’ll have another 6 weeks of winter. Here’s the story as reported by Reuters (Reuters! at least it beats all the doom mongering. Apparently there’s some sort of economic crisis going on).

That said, looking at a picture of Phil – and his waistline, I think it is about time he declared Winter over and got his rodenty arse into the gym.

So America has a new president. Hurrah. I’m am completely thrilled that the whole election circus is over – it feels like it has been going on foooooooreeeeever with the convoluted rounds and debates and campaigning stretching back over a year.

It has been an interesting process, watching but not being involved. Firstly, wow. The most racist country on the planet has a black president. There were a few poignant words highlighting the fact that Obama would most likely not have been served in Washington restaurants as recently as 40 or so years ago. The second astonishing aspect is that, based on radio, TV and people I’ve spoken to , the vast majority have been positive about his appointment (yes even McCain voters).

The inauguration itself was the worst bit – it felt a bit like Diana’s funeral in reverse – an astonishing outpouring of mass euphoria. The second coming couldn’t have generated more optimism and gushingly saccharine news commentary. I mean, to get things in perspective, the country is engaged in a couple of wars and is in the economic toilet. This is not an easy fix. But change has come. Great. The funniest thing about the event was the bizarre parades that made me think of all those facist processions so favoured by the likes of Mussolini…

Still, at least we’re shot of this chimp.

The best thing about flying US dometic airlines is the Skymall magazine that you’ll always find tucked in between the sick bag and the safety card of the seat pocket in front of you. This is the most hilarious reading you’ll ever encounter. Clearly the producers have decided that their captive, food, drink and cigarette deprived audience will be queuing up to buy a right load of random rubbish from them.

The selection of products to buy is astonishing – each designed to solve a problem you didn’t know you had…stairs to help old dogs get onto your bed, pretend stones to cover up unsightly taps or metalwork in your garden, breathtakingly tacky ornaments, blankets with sleeves, chocolate fireguards. Ok I made the last one up but see for yourself here.

My favourites are these – an in-home traction device and excercise equipment that turns any sized pool into a training pool. Who knew you needed one?

Banks here are hopeless. I hadn’t realised how lucky I was being able to do all my banking online before because I really miss it now. Mercifully it is mostly possible, assuming all electronic planets are aligned, to pay bills from large organisations online. Hurrah. It isn’t quite the same when you want to pay a person though. Even if you set up all the details online, what actually happens is the bank sends them a cheque (or check as they are irritatingly called here) in the post. Crazy huh?

I actually phoned up the online banking helpdesk as I thought I’d done something wrong the first time. The conversation was along the lines of:

Me”Hello can you help me? I’m trying to set up an automatic payment, I can find the person in the system but I can’t find where to add their account details.”
Bank minion “You want to pay an individual?”
Me “Yes”
BM “Well you can’t to that, you can only set up direct transfers to organisations.”
Me “That’s crazy. I’ve been doing that for years in Europe, why can’t I here?”
BM ” Because of fraud prevention”
Me “I don’t mind if someone fraudulently makes deposits into my bank account. I’m just trying to pay my rent..”
BM “Well you just can’t…..”

at that point I think my mind boggled right out of its capsule.

This isn’t a new issue. (I can’t believe I’m still writing cheques and worse still is having to pay the buggers in). So what’s caused the renewed aggravation of this very sore nerve? I just noticed the strapline the bank uses.

Leading the way? Leading the way?  This bunch of clowns couldn’t FIND the way with both hands and a map! Grrrrrrrr

What better way to relax after 24 hours of travel than another trip? So on my return from Singapore I went to visit Washington (only about 2.5 hours away). We visited the most excellent Air and Space Museum then had a drive around the sights.

The biggest surprises from the visit:-

– the Whitehouse is tiny. Really much smaller than you’d think. It made me think of that Monty Python scene where they are all saying “Camelot”, “Camelot” with voices full of awe and wonder, then one voice pipes up and says “it’s only a model….”

– people went to the moon in shoeboxes using technology that I would hesitate to use  to take me to the shops and back. Wow

–  Orville and Wilbur Wright ran a bicycle business before turning their hands to planes. Their mother gave them their interest in engineering.

– You can make beer with kelp. Really. I found this out here.

The Whitehouse. Actual size.

I’m feeling geriatric. Not just because everyone in my trapeze classes is younger, bendier, fitter and just plain old better than me (although that doesn’t help) but because I just had a flu jab. I thought I might as well as they were on offer but I’ve always seen them as something for the old and infirm. I’m trying to convince myself it was Ok as a)I might not have the same resistance to the germs they have over here and b) as the jobs are covered under insurance here  there isn’t an actual outlay.

That rationalisation got me thinking about healthcare here. I now have a theory that the US style of privatised heathcare positively encourages  hypochondria. In the UK when you shuffle off to the local quack and say that you have a headache and are feeling a bit miserable – he’ll send you home with suggestions to take an aspirin and have a bit of a word with yourself. Over here they have to check _everything_ so you don’t sue their arses for missing something, however unlikely. So you present with a headache, and before you know it you’ve had MRIs and CAT scans and investigations from all the shiny machines that go ping*. From your point of view, once you’ve paid what is effectively your insurance excess then you might as well have all they can offer you. That just doesn’t seem quite right.

*Of course I haven’t actually gone to a quack here except to get a signature that says I’m fit to drive (total joke because I reckon the recently deceased could pass their test in Pennsylvania). That said I did just get an injection which I’m not entirely sure I need. Is that how it starts?